Rump: The True Story of Rumpelstiltskin by Shurtliff Liesl

Author:Shurtliff, Liesl [Shurtliff, Liesl]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Fantasy, Childrens, Young Adult, Humour
Publisher: Alfred A. Knopf Books for Young Readers
Published: 2013-04-09T06:00:00+00:00

We had barely traveled a mile when dusk approached.

I wanted to get a little farther from The Kingdom, but Nothing kept turning around and going in the other direction. Then when I had him headed the right way, he kept stopping to graze the grass. We were moving so slowly that the ants beneath us reached a destination before we did. I made up a rhyme about Nothing:

Nothing’s a fool

He does nothing but drool

But I rule as fool

’Cause I stepped in his pool

Of drool

It was getting dark in The Eastern Woods. I was exhausted even though we’d probably traveled only two miles after all of Nothing’s walking in the wrong direction, and my whole body was still stiff and sore from my fall.

Then a gnome scurried up the road squealing, “Message for Rump! Message for Rump!” The gnome came right up to my feet. “Message for Rump! Message for Rump!”

“I’m Rump,” I said, irritated.

The gnome jumped with glee, but he was breathing hard. He must have run a long time to catch up with me. Did these creatures ever lose energy? The gnome cleared his throat and got on with delivering his message, half shouting, half squealing.

Dear Rump,

You idiot. What did you do, fall out of a tower? We know Opal will be queen now, and Granny says if you keep spinning for her, it will come to no good—if it hasn’t already. No more bargains. Get away from her as fast as you can and hide. Opal will have to deal on her own.

Your friend,

Red

P.S. Granny told me to remind you: Watch your step.

Of course! Such useful advice after I’d already fallen out of a tower.

The gnome bounced eagerly in front of me, hoping to carry another message. I snatched him by the ears and held him up.

“Take this message back to Red.”

Dear Red,

I fell out of the tower because Opal promised to give me her firstborn child in exchange for the gold. What would you have done? I’ve already taken your advice to get as far away as possible. I’m traveling to Yonder, if I don’t starve before I get there, or get eaten by pixies, or trolls, or annoyed to death by gnomes.

Your friend,

Rump

“Now repeat,” I told the gnome.

The gnome repeated the message, even the part about the gnomes annoying me, with squealing excitement. It occurred to me that gnomes didn’t really have brains, just some space in their heads that stored all our words and spat them back out when they reached the receiver. They could even insult themselves with glee.

The gnome scurried off screeching, “Message for Red! Message for Red!” I wondered if he would stop to sleep or eat before he got there. I knew I needed to eat and find a place to sleep. I had to stop for the night, and I couldn’t rely on the hope that I might find a farm or a village soon.

The side of the road was thick with trees and shrubs. Maybe I could find some early berries, or some edible mushrooms, so I could save Martha’s bread and pie for later.

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